It’s a well-worn path – and therefore predictable. If it’s predictable, and some of it not good, then why do so many organisations go down this road, again and again? Like so many things, it’s often not until it’s spelt out that it becomes obvious. What road are we travelling? The ‘staff engagement road’. Unfortunately, so often we end up without it – genuine engagement, that is. Why? Let’s find out.

It’s so exhilarating, intoxicating, euphoric, the beginning of a relationship. Our new partner can do no wrong, or if they do, no-one does ‘wrong’ as wonderfully as they do. ‘Don’t they leave their clothes in such a beautiful pile on the floor’! We’re so self-sacrificing. After a while, ‘Well maybe they could put their clothes in the laundry’. Further along, ‘I really do wish they would do their own washing’. Then, ‘Look, I can’t do everything around here. Help out.’ I jest somewhat of course, but I think you get the concept. The novelty wears off. We start to ask what’s in it for us, and that’s fair enough.

Let’s think about that other major part of our life – work.

It too is exciting, the start up phase of a new organisation or project. High morale is virtually guaranteed. Again we’re self-sacrificing for the cause, to get things up and running. ‘Sure, I’ll come in early. This is so much fun. It’s barely work really.’ ‘It’s fine, I’ll wait back an hour to complete this. No problems.’ Somewhere down ‘that road’ again – ‘I really don’t feel like coming in at 6-00 this morning. Not again. I’ve been doing this for months.’ Then, ‘I can’t come in early tomorrow. I need to do things at home first.’ Step forward again, ‘I’ll be in at 8-00. That’s my start time after all.’ The novelty has worn off.

It’s 2 years down ‘the road’, and we’re picking up some signals. ‘Let’s do a survey and see how our staff are feeling about things’. Oh, it’s not as good as we’d thought. Why not? As a senior manager I’m really getting a kick out of developing this department. We’re seeing results. We’d better start paying attention to our staff. (Here it comes). We’ll start an engagement program, a reward program to show we value them as part of ‘the team’.

Hang on a minute. What’s happened here? What’s happened is that the euphoria has masked the true culture of the place, (or the traits of our new partner), and it’s being revealed now. It takes a while to really get to know someone, or the true culture. Sometimes a ‘relationship’ should have remained at friendship level and not progressed. So what do we do now? If we have gone down that road then we need to change direction, fast. Try these, today.

• Be honest. Don’t use words like, ‘areas we could do better’. Say, ‘We’re obviously not good.’
• Treat them as adults. No gimmicks please. Prizes don’t work. In fact if your staff are already cynical, they will see giving them a prize as an attempt to buy them off. Money doesn’t work either. If we have to give extra money for them to work harder, they’re working for the money, not us. Take away the money (as in bad times) and you take away the morale also. It’s extrinsic.
• Lead from the front line. Be in the trenches with them. Your standing will rise immeasurably.
• Ask, don’t tell. Exercise humility. We don’t have all the answers. Watch respect for you escalate.
• Admit when you’re wrong. Do this. Show you’re fallible.
• Share your daily benefits. Will you be away? Share your executive carpark (or similar benefit).
• The message usually doesn’t have to change, but the ‘how’ does. If you have bad news to deliver, deliver it openly and stay with them. Do not leave. Explain your position. Wear their emotion. Overtly accept their right to their view. Again, do not leave. Do not hide behind legal wording, even if it has to be stated. Be human.
• ..and know this. There is black and there is white, but there’s a whole lot more grey. Some things, like procedures, are straightforward – right or wrong. Others, like people, are not so, and that’s ok.

We could have set it up right in the first place, and not found ourselves in this position had we known. Next time though, yes?

Chris Smith is a former airline captain and author of Leadership at 43000 Feet, Real leaders don’t need a title.