Managing grieving employees: Lessons from the funeral industry

For HR professionals, effectively managing grieving employees is a challenge that requires sensitivity and empathy. While most organisations have basic protocols in place, the funeral industry – where grief is central to day-to-day operations – offers unique insights on how to approach this delicate issue.

Amy Marsh is HR Director for Westerleigh Group who fulfil more than 71,000 funerals a year. As such, she is no stranger to managing frameworks and guidance to support colleagues experiencing grief and bereavement while they are at work. After losing her own mother last year, the roles were reversed, and Amy found herself on the receiving end of the care that her team and the broader business provide when people experience grief and loss. Says Amy, “I felt really supported by the Westerleigh Team — whether it was my line manager or my wider colleague base. It was lovely to know that when I was back at work and trying to function as normally as possible, people were looking out for me by being even more supportive and helping where they could which gave me less to worry about.” She says the openness about grief in her workplace allowed her to be vulnerable during what she describes as an incredibly difficult time. “Because we’re in the bereavement industry, there’s no stigma around talking about grief or being emotional and upset. We deal with grief every day, so it’s not a taboo subject for us and we recognise the significant impact that it has on the people it touches”.

Layton Wilkinson, Managing Director of Distinct Cremations, one of the UK’s largest direct cremation providers and part of the Westerleigh Group, says there is growing recognition that employers can and should do more in practical terms to support their colleagues. “Bereavement is a deeply personal and often traumatic experience and one that nearly every colleague will face at some point. Many companies offer comprehensive benefits packages that include healthcare, retirement plans, and even mental health support. However, funeral planning, which plays a crucial role in end-of-life preparations, is often overlooked.”

Understanding grief

In recent years, says Amy, society has become more open and aware of human emotions and the line between work and home blurred. “Within the funeral industry, and here at Westerleigh, we equip and develop our colleagues to provide bereavement support to the families and communities that we serve that are impacted by individual loss. In turn, these skills can also help us internally to support each other during times of grief as well as providing support to our families and friends. It’s this set of skills which help our colleagues to create an environment where they can thrive, professionally and personally.” Amy, who joined Westerleigh Group in 2020 after working as a Group Human Resources Director for a major international retailer, emphasises the importance of recognising that grief is a deeply personal journey, with everyone experiencing it in their own way and time. “Just because a colleague has returned to work after bereavement leave doesn’t mean they are no longer grieving or navigating a complex range of emotions day by day.”

Discussions about death and final wishes are often considered off-limits, says Layton, and that encouraging such conversations in the workplace can be beneficial. The death of a loved one is often followed by urgent and difficult decisions. Funeral arrangements need to be made, sometimes within a very short period, with colleagues not only dealing with emotional turmoil but also financial and administrative burdens. “This is where employers could step in to offer meaningful support. Colleagues may feel more at ease knowing their employer provides a safe and supportive environment where such topics can be discussed. Creating space for these conversations not only helps colleagues prepare mentally but also can alleviate some of the stress during a time of loss.”

Bereavement policy

In the event of bereavement, Amy urges other employers to go beyond statutory requirements to provide ‘reasonable’ time off and to offer such options as extended leave options, flexible work options, and access to grief counselling. In Westerleigh’s case, the company offers a significant enhancement in terms of paid leave for grief and bereavement and encourages managers to discuss individual situations on a case-by-case basis so that more tailored support can be put in place as required.

Another key takeaway from the funeral industry is understanding the ways grief can present itself. Adds Amy, “Grief isn’t always expressed through sadness—it can also appear as anger, confusion, numbness and a variety of other emotions and/or behaviours. HR professionals should ensure that managers and teams are trained to recognise and respond to these varied emotional reactions. A non-judgmental, empathetic approach can help grieving colleagues feel understood and supported, creating a workplace environment that prioritises emotional well-being.

Integrating Funeral Planning into Employee Benefits

Funeral planning may seem like a highly personal matter, but Layton believes it is becoming increasingly relevant in the context of employee benefits. Many colleagues are unprepared for the costs associated with end-of-life arrangements, adding to the stress of an already difficult time. “Incorporating pre-paid funeral plans into broader workplace benefits is a valuable first step. This forward-thinking approach could include offering discounted funeral plans as part of the overall package, giving colleagues the peace of mind that arrangements have been taken care of.” Partnering with funeral plan providers is one way in which companies can offer corporate funeral schemes, making it easier for colleagues to prepare for their own or a family member’s funeral.  “With a funeral plan benefit, colleagues can safeguard against rising costs by paying in advance for the funeral director’s services at today’s prices. Once the plan is fully paid, no further payments will be required for those services.” Otherwise, individuals should be encouraged to take responsibility for their financial products in the same way that they manage their pensions or savings accounts. Educating colleagues about the importance of funeral planning and facilitating their access to funeral plan information and providers, such as Distinct Cremations, can help raise awareness about overall later life planning; likewise, providing bereavement support, or offering workshops on Wills, and Power of Attorney, are straightforward measures that could have significant long-term benefits.

Colleague Retention

In today’s competitive job market, employers are constantly searching for ways to attract and retain top talent. The emotional toll of losing a loved one can significantly impact on colleagues’ well-being and productivity. Layton, who has 18 years’ experience in later-life financial services, funeral plans and life insurance, says implementing comprehensive grief support policies not only improve colleague well-being but can also positively impact colleague retention. “It’s about preparing your people to offer more than just professional support—they need to be able to offer human empathy.” Layton believes this is a key differentiator, “Colleagues remember the support they’ve received when they needed it. And it’s even more meaningful if they haven’t had to ask for it. An organisation known for its compassion will likely be seen as a desirable place to work, enhancing talent attraction and colleague loyalty.” Amy, who has worked in HR for almost 30 years, agrees. “Comprehensive support does help with retention; however, it’s broader than just policies, it’s about colleagues feeling listened to, being positively engaged in what they do, and feeling aligned with an organisation’s purpose. Our purpose of providing exceptional care is central to our decisions, whether they involve our colleagues, over 71,000 bereaved families and their loved ones, each year, or many wider industry partners. Enhancing our policies and frameworks in this way has become part of the fabric of the Westerleigh Group culture.”

Continuous Learning and Adaptation

Both Amy and Layton accept one of the cornerstones of effective grief management is a regular review of the latest research and knowledge, “Staying informed on best practices is crucial. By fostering a proactive, open dialogue around grief, companies can evolve in their approach to supporting colleagues, contributing to a healthier and more empathetic workplace.” Westerleigh, the leading independent developer and operator of Crematoria and Cemeteries in the UK, invites experts into the workplace to share, educate, and upskill in their relevant fields; this includes topics like mental health, dementia, suicide prevention, and grief.

Layton, meanwhile, points to the changing attitudes around funeral care, particularly with the growing popularity of direct cremations, as an opportunity for employers to explore innovative options. Direct cremation, a simpler and more affordable alternative to traditional funerals reflects a broader trend towards personalised and flexible end-of-life care. “Soliciting feedback from colleagues is also crucial. By creating an open channel for communication, organisations can gain insights into what support systems work and what areas need improvement. This feedback loop fosters a culture of empathy and understanding, ensuring that colleagues feel heard and supported during difficult times.”

A Compassionate Approach

As Amy sees it, HR professionals across different industries can learn a great deal from their counterparts in the funeral sector. “By adopting flexible, empathetic approaches to grief management—going beyond the basics and recognising the uniqueness of each colleagues’ experience—organisations can not only improve colleague well-being but also build a culture of support and loyalty”.

Adds Layton, “Grief is an emotional experience that impacts everyone at some point in their lives. In the workplace, it can severely affect productivity, morale, and colleague well-being. In times of grief, people don’t just want policies—they want to know they’re truly cared for. That’s what makes all the difference.”

www.westerleighgroup.co.uk

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