The success of managing performance goes beyond setting goals, tracking metrics, and conducting timely reviews. It’s often said that while what is visible in the performance process matters, what remains invisible and unspoken can be just as crucial, if not more so. Gallup research on performance management reinforces this .It states that only 14% of employees feel performance reviews inspire improvement, and just 20% believe their performance is managed to motivate outstanding work. These numbers are stark and require a deeper understanding of what is missing.
One of the underplayed themes of managing performance is the criticality of “Inner Dialogue” – the ongoing, often subconscious stream of thoughts, feelings, and inner conversations that occur within the mind, serving as a form of self-communication. Leaders are no exception. They often wrestle with internal doubts, biases, and dilemmas, carrying these narratives into performance conversations. These internal stories can cause emotional leakage, profoundly impacting the quality and outcome of performance discussions.
A nuanced understanding of a leader’s inner dialogue with high, moderate, and suboptimal performers can help to reset their approach and unlock the team’s performance, both individually and collectively.
The Inner Dialogue while Managing High Performers
High performers are the backbone of any successful team — delivering exceptional results, driving innovation, and raising the bar. Yet, when managing high performers, many leaders grapple with a unique internal tension: “Do I even have value to add here?” This is often driven by Imposter Syndrome, where the leader subconsciously doubts their own competence in guiding someone operating at a high level.
This often triggers one of two counterproductive behaviours: over-reliance or under-engagement. Some leaders may lean too heavily on high performers to compensate for weaker team members, eventually leading to burnout or disengagement. Others may under-engage, assuming high performers don’t need coaching or development, which leads to stagnation.
A possible approach is to shift from evaluation to co-creation. Instead of merely assessing performance, leaders can choose to engage high performers as strategic thought partners — encouraging them to push their own edges of growth. One effective reframe is: “What would it look like to challenge you in a new area?”. This emphasises that growth is an ongoing journey, even for the best.
This shifts the conversation from performance to possibility, ensuring that even high performers feel stretched and supported. Additionally, research from Harvard Business Review indicates that high performers are 400% more productive than the average employee, but without continuous challenge and engagement, there are serious negative repercussions too. Therefore, the leader’s primary inner dialogue is to move from “I need to protect their motivation” to “I need to co-create their next growth edge.”
The Inner Dialogue while Managing Moderate Performers
Moderate performers occupy a psychologically ambiguous space for most leaders. On the one hand, they contribute steadily without causing major concerns. They often offer consistency and solidity. On the other hand, they often leave untapped potential on the table. The leader’s inner dialogue here revolves around the question: “Should I push harder, or should I accept their plateau?”
This tension often leads to what psychologists call Complacency Bias — where leaders might unknowingly settle for average performance because addressing the gap feels uncomfortable. Instead of unlocking latent potential, leaders default to maintaining the status quo, reinforcing stagnation.
The key reset for leaders is moving from acceptance to aspiration where their narrative shifts from “Am I pushing too hard?” to “What identity shift can I unlock here?”. This might help moderate performers reframe their self-concept — from “I’m doing fine” to “I have untapped potential.” Leaders can play a key role in driving this shift through identity-based feedback, by tying performance improvements to the employee’s evolving identity.
The Inner Dialogue while Managing Suboptimal Performers
The inner dialogue of managing suboptimal performers is often the most psychologically demanding. Leaders often oscillate between empathy and accountability, struggling with questions like: “Am I being too harsh or too lenient?” and “Will this conversation further demoralize them or ignite change?”
This inner struggle often leads to one of two ineffective approaches: over-coaching or under-coaching. Over-coaching involves spending disproportionate energy trying to fix the employee’s behaviour, often leading to burnout. Under-coaching, on the other hand, shows up as avoidance — delaying difficult conversations in the hope that performance will self-correct.
The key here is for leaders to separate performance from potential. This means not assuming poor performance is entirely within the employee’s control but instead diagnosing whether the issue is rooted in capability, motivation, or systemic barriers. Effective leaders use questions that shift the conversation from blame to curiosity: “What’s one thing, if it changed, would make this role easier for you?” or “Where do you feel most supported, and where do you feel stuck?”
This reframing shifts the narrative from “You’re failing” to “Let’s find out what’s getting in the way.” It goes without saying that targeted diagnosis trumps generic performance correction.
How Leaders Can Regulate Their Inner Dialogues
Recognizing the inner dialogue is not enough. It is important for Leaders to actively regulate their inner dialogue to avoid unconsciously sabotaging performance conversations. This involves three key shifts:
- From Evaluator to Co-Creator: Shift from assessing results to jointly designing future growth paths while working with high performers.
- From Protector to Unlocker: Shift from maintaining comfort to unlocking untapped potential while dealing with moderate performers.
- From Fixer to Diagnostician: Shift from correcting behaviour to diagnosing performance blockers while managing suboptimal performers.
Leaders often grapple with listening to their inner voice and the invisible barriers that make these transitions challenging. Deeply embedded habits, fear of disrupting team dynamics, and discomfort in evolving their leadership identity can create resistance to change—even when they intellectually recognize its importance.
Evaluators may struggle to become co-creators because they equate authority with control, fearing collaboration could dilute their influence. Protectors might avoid pushing moderate performers because they conflate challenge with potential disengagement, underestimating the motivational power of well-framed stretch goals. Fixers often feel compelled to provide quick solutions, believing that diagnosing deeper issues is a luxury they can’t afford amidst daily pressures.
Overcoming these barriers and making these shifts sustainable requires intentional self-awareness, a willingness to challenge personal leadership assumptions, and structured debriefs to analyse one’s emotional responses before, during and after performance conversations. The best leaders don’t just adapt their strategies—they actively interrogate their own discomfort, biases, and instincts, transforming their inner game to elevate those they lead.
