There is so much unresolved global conflict, and politicians seem powerless to deal with it or many of us feel they are handling it poorly. We have so few good leadership role models and often feel so exhausted that many of us have begun to internalise a feeling that we have no control and so often take shortcuts in life and at work. Some of us want to be helped before we try to find a solution ourselves or give up because it feels too much of a drain on our time or energy to work through an issue. Others want to quickly resolve a problem by papering over the issue or simply telling those involved what to do and how to think. So, what do we need to know about decision-making during conflict in the workplace and how can we do better?
10 harsh truths about decision-making during conflict:
1) Initially we need to avoid reporting the person we disagree with. If you have a culture of dialogue where staff are encouraged to talk to each other when issues arise then you can avoid them immediately escalating issues to their line manager or HR as a first port of call.
2) You need to slow down the decision-making in conflict, there are no shortcuts. The truth is in conflict it takes time to get true, long-lasting resolutions. We need to remove the time pressure of resolution because sometimes seeking positive outcomes over a slightly longer period means a more solid and secure solution is found. Perhaps bring up the issues in a first meeting, agree to go into depth in a second meeting and then agree to decide in a third meeting.
3) Conflict deepens when you don’t agree on the criteria for resolution. What is important to you in this time of conflict? Time, speed, money, or corporate values, collaboration, longevity and good culture? It is important to set the resolution criteria between all parties.
4) Conflict can be good. Conflict is like rain; it is essential and a catalyst for change. It will rain but the water needs channelling and different ways of managing it. If we don’t get rain then nothing grows. We need conflict for things to flourish. We can all learn from feedback. It helps us grow.
5) You need to move from I am right and you are wrong. Normally we argue from our position rather than listening to the opinions of other stakeholders. We don’t always need to agree but we do need to listen to where they are coming from and how their experience has shaped their view.
6) You won’t always get the resolution you want, especially if conflict is due to ego or poor company culture. Sometimes we have to know when to walk away. However, if the work culture is poor and the leadership team are prepared to work hard to get to the root problem that can only happen if we step up and talk about it.
7) Today people are afraid of conflict. We increasingly walk on eggshells and are politically correct especially when it comes to DEI. Leaders are afraid to address issues so make decisions that aren’t quite right or avoid involving the relevant stakeholders.
8) You need to decide if you want to settle or resolve. There is a difference between settlement, which means deciding on a compromise and sorting out the issue for now, versus a resolution which is a long-term solution that does not encourage repeated reflection and instead draws a line in the sand which says this is not a temporary fix.
9) A reduction of meeting in person increases conflict. Thank goodness for online meeting programmes during the Covid pandemic, but the truth is you do not get to know your colleagues across a computer screen. We need to sometimes meet in person to get to know one another and for deep listening to happen.
10) Your organisation probably hasn’t had training in conflict resolution. You also need one or more senior staff members who are champions for good conflict resolution.
So how do we make good decisions to deal with conflict?
Whenever possible avoid adversarial complaint processes or litigation, where external sources are likely to decide the outcome on your behalf through a formal process. One key principle of mediation is self-determination whereby the parties make their own decisions as far as possible based on criteria agreed. To do this we need to empower individuals to actively resolve their conflicts with open dialogue and encourage them to think critically about problems and challenges and to set a plan for the future.
Act early. Most businesses would benefit from encouraging and enabling staff to practice early dispute resolution. For example, once someone signs off sick with long-term stress it is almost impossible for the problem to be resolved. This may result in the decline of office culture and productivity loss, and payout and recruitment costs. People are more aware of their rights and needs and often jump ship because action hasn’t been taken early enough, and the situation has
become toxic.
Fully informed consent. Ensure all parties have access to the information needed to make informed, voluntary decisions. Further conflict, miscommunication, and misunderstanding can arise from individuals feeling they are in the dark, so providing all the information promotes transparency and trust.
Understand there are at least two stakeholder interests and create a fair hearing of both sides. Ensure all parties have an equal chance of being heard so individuals feel respected and know they are being treated equally and be non-judgmental.
Look closely at the narrative. Individuals should explore what narrative they are telling themselves and what the other party’s narrative is too and explore deeply what the experiences, interests, priorities, potential objections, rationale and expectations are that have brought about a dispute. Understand what the issues are really about by choosing to have difficult dialogue.
Find the middle ground. Striving for a compromise that works for both parties can leave everyone feeling satisfied even when a full agreement cannot be reached. We need to be resilient and resourceful to think through the problem and be open to other people’s perspectives. Work out what the common needs are and look for constructive outcomes.
Have a framework that works. Having a pre-determined framework to deal with conflict ensures that people know it is taken seriously and enables everyone to be informed of the processes to follow. Include clear principles, a well-defined process, and a collective pledge to uphold the standards that are agreed upon and followed in times of conflict.
The importance of integrity. Leaders should always prioritise integrity and consistency, set an example to others and champion respectful conflict resolution. Equally, responsible leadership is to encourage colleagues to listen to one another before issues escalate upwards.
Implement decisions made. To safeguard a culture of transparency and future collaboration ensure decisions agreed are implemented in a timely fashion. Sticking to your word builds trust and respect.
Train your staff. Organisations should provide internal training in conflict resolution and decision-making skills to ensure everyone is educated on the best practices and prepared for different conflict situations.
