In the book “A Tale for the Time Being” by Ruth Ozeki, one of the main protagonists, a centenarian female Buddhist Priest says that everyone has a superpower.  When faced with seemingly intractable workplace conflict, leaders of organisations and HR can feel like they need managers with superpowers. What we don’t always see is that, with some core conflict resolution tools and infrastructure, they can find that they do.

In an evolved modern workplace, managers and HR know that conflicts are best resolved at team level.  When this happens, HR serve as a useful and pragmatic resource for all involved.  Moreover, the individuals involved generally start to use the conflict as an opportunity to evolve, learn and feedback.

The Mission

The mission of any Resolution Agent is to enable and support their team members to work through a conflict situation.  This is achieved by a focus on building an environment of empowerment and recognition.  In the context of conflict resolution, an environment of empowerment is one in which rather than individuals feeling victim to the conflict situation, they feel seize it as an opportunity to develop and grow.  An environment of recognition is one in which rather that employees blaming each other for things they have done, employees are able to recognise the possible reasons why their colleagues take certain actions and common motivations.

The Costume

No superhero is complete without a costume although in the case of the Resolution Agent, it may look a little like an invisibility cloak.  Indeed, the Resolution Agent may need to describe their costume to help those around him see it.  As Resolution Agent, the manager will need to, temporarily, take off their management “uniform” including their opinions on the issues, their judgement and, to a degree, their control of what the parties say and do.  Replacing this uniform will be a neutrality costume which clearly delineates their role in supporting the resolution as opposed to being a party in the dispute.  It may be that they will need to revert to their uniform but communicating which costume they are wearing will clarify the support the parties can expect from them and the role they plan to play.

The Superpower broken-down

No superhero can fulfil their role without a variety of superpowers.  The Resolution Agent is no different.  However, their tools may well look somewhat different to those we may have become accustomed to in the worlds of Batman or The Thundermans.

• Omni-partiality:

Omni-partiality goes beyond impartiality in that instead of not taking sides, it is about being on the side of all the parties.  The Resolution Agent needs to come from a perspective of wanting both parties to “win” in the issue they are facing.  Demonstrating to the parties that they are committed to this approach can be achieved through:

• Simply letting the parties know that you intend to be omni-partial and communicating what that means to you.
• Spending an equal amount of time with both parties or letting them know that you might need to spend more time with one than the other in the course of helping them to achieve their goals

The Resolution Agent will also need to remember that they may naturally tend to favour one party whose opinion or approach may coincide with theirs.  Where this happens, they will need to be able to either put that interest or opinion to one side or take off their Resolution Agent Costume to clearly declare their interest.  It is better to do this having carried out as much work with the parties as possible to help them build understanding and agreement giving them the potential to develop a solution that can be bought into by and work for everyone.

• Confidentiality (with caveats)

Confidentiality is key to ensuring that people can feel free to speak.  This opportunity to be honest is crucial to allowing individuals to take responsibility for their actions and inactions in the situation.  Creating an environment in which individuals feel safe to speak in confidence a key superpower for the Resolution Agent.

Often, the issues that arise during the conversations between the Resolution Agent and the employee will benefit from being shared with others in the organisation.  However, if people do not feel comfortable that some elements of what they are saying will be held in total confidence they are less inclined to disclose the full picture.

The opportunity for the Resolution Agent is to be clear and honest when it comes to confidentiality.  A powerful way for this to happen is for the Resolution Agent to let the employee know, before the conversation starts, that:

• their intention is to have a confidential off the record discussion
• during the course of the discussion, the employee and the Resolution Agent may identify areas that might be useful to talk about with others, and
• the Resolution Agent commits to raising those issues with the employee and talk about whether, how and to whom they are disclosed

In this way, the boundaries of confidentiality are much clearer and much easier to abide by.  This generates trust which in turn encourages openness.

• Deep Listening and Questioning

Consciously practicing listening skills with individuals in conflict situations is one of the most effective ways of turning those situations around.  It allows the person speaking to not only hear themselves but also understand how others are hearing or perceiving what they are saying.  These skills can be broken down as follows:

• Withholding judgement is a precursor to deep listening and questioning. We cannot truly or effectively listen if we already feel we know the answer.  We also risk destroying trust with that other person.
• Summarising back what we have heard has two benefits. Firstly, it allows the speaker to see what other people are understanding from what they are saying.  Secondly, where the summary omits key elements that the listener may not have heard, it allows the employee to clarify and fill in the gaps.
• Paraphrasing involves picking up on key points that the speaker is making. This allows the speaker to expand on or clarify these points and explore them in more depth
• Non-verbal listening involves listening behind the words. Being silent to allow someone to speak can be very powerful.  However, we can also listen to what we hear people infer or what their body language is telling us.  We can reflect back or mirror what we see much like paraphrasing and summarising to help explore the bigger picture with the employee.
• Questioning with the use of open questions (what, how, do you etc.) allows the person we are engaging with to expand upon what they are saying and explore their options. Closed questions may shut down the conversation somewhat but can also be very effective in clarifying understanding.

The Villain of the piece

Every Superhero needs a villain.  In management these “villains” are not so much the individuals involved but rather the dynamics at play.  These can be complex and multi fold as follows:

• Fear in the modern workplace is a powerful force of destruction. Managers are often understandably tempted to micro manage in conflict situations fearing that if they don’t they may lose control of the situation.  Rather than resolving the situation, this often generates a feeling of mistrust by the employees being managed who, in turn, start to feel in conflict with the managers themselves in addition to the existing conflict situation.  Fear can also cause one party to feel favoured above another or marginalised.  This in turn generates additional fears about the wider implications of the conflict on job prospects and may equally trigger old resentments about past situations.  Fear is often False Evidence Appearing Real so communication about each individual’s perspective of reality will be key here.
• Blame and Shame can also be drivers against resolution. If we feel we are going to receive undesirable consequences or be “punished” in some way for our actions, we tend to be less honest about our mistakes.  This is driven by the grievance and disciplinary processes which are focussed on finding who was right or wrong in the situation.  Encouraging self-responsibility through empowerment and recognition takes away the relevance of blame and shame and focusses the individuals on the future and on solutions.

The Close Companion

Just as Batman needed Robin and Alfred, any Resolution Agent needs their Close Companion which comes in the form of the HR department.  For the Resolution Agent to effectively perform their role, they need:

• Backup including access to mediation and or other advice should they feel out of their depth
• Training which is the learning and development alternative to Kryptonite ensuring that the Resolution Agent’s superpowers are recharged and regenerated
• Early Resolution Systems in place within the organisation to ensure that their intervention is an integral and accepted part of the culture which has a variety of resources to address the challenges.

Author of The 7 Principles of Conflict Resolution & Mediator & Trainer at The Conflict Resolution Centre