A critical facet to rising into a leadership role and being successful as a leader is having an ‘executive presence’. However, if you are a women leader, your ‘executive presence’ is also heavily wrapped up in how you look. 

In the workplace, women feel the pressure to live up to expectations to look suitably polished to command respect from others but to never be too feminine and too attractive, because that doesn’t measure up to being smart and business-like.

“When I first saw you I thought you were a bimbo!” That’s the derogatory remark a senior women leader made to Katie, who I interviewed as part of my research on women’s leadership. This remark was made just as she was starting her academic career at one of the top universities in the UK. Katie who loved experimenting with makeup and fashion had no idea her glamorous appearance didn’t sit well with everyone and had a damaging impact on her confidence. 

Sandra, a senior executive at a family-run investment firm, took the bold step to leave the corporate world of one of the largest global banking companies when she was forced to adopt a particular ‘look’ for the bank. “The feedback I got from my own Managing Director at the time was that I didn’t have the ‘gravitas to play with the big boys’. She said that I came across as too ‘girly’ and was strongly advised, basically told, to cut my hair and dress more corporately instead of wearing colourful dresses. I just wasn’t willing to put up with such narrow-minded sexist views so I left.”

Female employees are acutely aware of being judged by their appearance, particularly younger women. In August 2022, I commissioned a market research agency to carry out a survey among 1,000 female and 1,000 male UK employees in their early to mid career cycle. I found that 92% of women aged between 24 and 35 believe working women are judged much more on how they look compared to working men. The percentage of older working women aged 55 and over who feel the same way is lower in comparison at 85% but nonetheless this is still a very high proportion of women especially when we compare that with men’s perception of this issue in the same age group (67% of men). The overall gender split of 90% of women and 68% of men believing that women at work are judged more on their physical appearance than men is clear evidence of the scale of this problem. 

So, don’t looks also apply to men? Well, not in the same way, and I have two examples to illustrate this. Here’s my first example. Simon, a senior executive in a public relations firm who I interviewed shares an experience that highlights the privilege men enjoy. 

 “I’m often told by my two female peers that I look really scruffy, but in a joking way. I once turned up at a business pitch wearing jeans, trainers and a hoodie and on the client side they were all in suits. I felt a bit weird but it didn’t really matter in the end – we got the contract and I continue to dress how I please. At the end of the day, I’m a c-suite executive and how I look hasn’t damaged my career in any way. It’s really important to me that I dress in a way that is me and what I find comfortable. But I know it’s not the same for women – they don’t get away with not giving a shit about what other people think like I can. People look past my appearance and judge me on results –but it’s not like that for women – they’re afraid any negative judgement on their appearance can harm their career. It’s really unfair. They don’t share the privilege I have.”

So what does a successful women boss look like? In my survey, I presented two images. In the first image the woman boss is wearing a traditional trouser suit and her hair is in a bob whilst, in the second image, the woman boss is wearing a long floral print dress and wears her long wavy hair down. I ask the survey respondents which one they think looks more like a business leader. The results confirm the deep-seated stereotypes we hold. Around two-thirds of both genders selected the first traditional image as looking more like a business leader than the second. Interestingly, I also found among both genders, that the youngest age group of 18-24 and the oldest, 55+ were more likely to find the traditional image looking more like a business leader than those in the ages in between. 

Now a women’s appearance isn’t limited to what she wears – it extends to her physical attractiveness and perceived level of ‘sexiness’ too. In the workplace, being pretty can become ‘pretty ugly’ and researchers describe this as the ‘beauty is beastly’ effect: in settings where seriousness, expertise, and experience are valued, being too attractive actually makes people less likely to take you seriously. People assume you are less intelligent and less able.

We are more accustomed to the concept of ‘beauty is good’ or ‘pretty privilege’, the idea that people who are more conventionally attractive based on societal beauty standards have more advantages and opportunities compared to people who are deemed less attractive. This has been the subject of many studies. But a review of the literature illustrates that in the workplace, the social and economic advantages of attractiveness are experienced mostly by attractive men. 

Here comes my second example of the double standard women face in relation to men. Combing through decades of findings, social psychologists Walker and Frevert found that while attractive men may be considered better leaders, implicit sexist prejudices often work against attractive women, making them less likely to be hired for high-level jobs that require authority!

So how do we move forward and banish these double standards for women? A starting point is to identify and challenge our own implicit gender biases and call them out. For example, well-meaning older women bosses may think they are helping when advising younger women not to appear ‘girly’ or too made up, but by doing so, femininity is equated with superficiality. This has consequences for how women are judged. Seen as frivolous, fluffy, less intelligent, and lacking depth, can have damaging consequences for career progression. You could say that this vilification of femininity is itself a form of sexism as it strengthens sexist biases, but when it comes from another woman, isn’t immediately recognized as such. 

I readily admit I hate frilly pink stuff, I’m not particularly keen on plunging necklines and short skirts in the workplace. Like many mothers to young women, I despaired at seeing my daughter ‘gendered’ through her clothes – from the moment she was born – clothes for girls were pink and frilly and I was horrified to find that shops were sexualizing girls as young as 6 and 7 by selling lacy two-piece underwear – yes a bra and knickers! Just 5 minutes into watching something like Love Island is enough to leave me feeling depressed about the plight of the feminist cause!

But despite all of this, I also believe it’s only by paying less attention to what women wear and looks like – and this is true for men’s appearance too, that we can focus more on a person’s character and accomplishments instead. But to achieve this, I believe we need to start by actually pushing for more freedom and flexibility in how we dress, to let people dress in ways that reflect who they are and make them happy. I believe this approach will build a culture of diversity in what people wear, a culture of tolerance and respect for individuality, and therefore, over time, gendered stereotypes around dress code will become less noticeable and less important because diversity in how we dress becomes ‘mainstream’.